Week III

UCF Knights (9.5 pt DOG) @ #20 Missouri Tigers….

The Knights finished 12-1 last year and took out a great Baylor football team on New Year’s Day in the “TOSTITOS FIESTA BOWL”. With QB Bortles and RB Storm Johnson opting to leave early for the NFL; the Knights find themsel...ves trying to replace the engine in a 2013 Corvette!!!……Missouri, on the other hand, replaced their 2013 Corvette with a 2014 911 Porsche!!!…..FOLKS,,,QB Maty Mauk and his core of receivers are Fo’ Sho’, Fo’ REAL!!!....I was “Slow to Grow” on the Missouri Tigers last year. Not gonna happen this year!!!!..........Say “Good Knight” to Central Florida!!!……….Tigers win and cover 45-28!!!



Massachusetts Minutemen (16.5pt DOG) @ Vanderbilt Commodores….

This is a “TRAP GAME” for college football fans. It’s Saturday, it’s noon and you’ve been watching College Game Day all morning with Herbie, Des, Lee and Chris!!!!... You’re chomping at the bits for some excitement with your mouth all watered up for FOOTBALL!!! And that’s when it happens!!! You’re just flipping around with the remote control and you stop to watch an SEC football game. And then BAM!!!! With no warning you find yourself watching Vanderbilt of “Old” vs. Massachusetts of “Never”!!! WARING: VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED - The following game contains inexperienced football players and may not be suitable for all adults watch!!!!…Commodores win but do not cover 24-21!!!



Arkansas Razorbacks (2.5pt DOG) @ Texas Tech Red Raiders….

Here’s another classic match-up with two opposing styles of offense. On one hand you got Texas Tech, who wants to “GUN IT” and on the other side you got Arkansas, who wants to “RUN IT”!!!!.....SOoooo, the question for me is; who’s going to “WIN IT”???....Well, the Hawgs definitely know how to root up a football field with RB Collins & Williams and of course, the Red Raiders definitely know how to split the clouds with raining footballs from an all out air raid attack by QB Davis Webb!!!....But in this game, it all comes down to which new coach has mastered his team better since arriving on campus. With Coach Brett Bielema having won 3 Big Ten championships and having 7 out of 8 winning seasons as a head football coach vs. Coach Kliff Kingsbury’s one season; I would have to say Coach Bielema is the Kung-Fu Master in this game. Or if you prefer, Razorback fans------------Kung-Fu Master, Hong Kong Sooie!!! Razorbacks win and pocket the Vegas points 35-33!!!



#6 Georgia Bulldogs (6.5pt FAV) @ #24 South Carolina Gamecocks….

Georgia hits like a “Gurley”!!!....In this case, that’s a good thing!!!...Todd Gurley hits holes and linebackers like a 2ton tank!!!….LMO, he’s the best running back in the country!!!....He has it all---power, speed and vision. The only thing he doesn’t have is a national championship and a Heisman. If either of those two “bucket list” items are to become a reality this year; they must beat the Gamecocks in Columbia this weekend. Expect the Gamecocks to load the line-of-scrimmage with 8 players to stop Todd Gurley. I’m betting that Coach Steve Spurrier is betting, THE HOUSE, on stopping Todd Gurley and forcing Georgia to beat them in the air. Plus, he will probably feed Mike Davis the ball 30+ times this week in an effort to control the clock and keep Georgia’s offense off the field. The 24,000 question is; can Georgia’s passing game capitalize.(TBD) Despite the weak showing from the Gamecock secondary over the past two weeks, this matchup is “Taylor Made” for the Cocks defense!!! Expect an ole fashion cockfight in Columbia this Weekend!!! Dawgs win but do not cover 38-35!!!



Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns (27.5pt DOG) @ # 14 Ole Miss Rebels….

Coach Mark Hudspeth is doing an outstanding job at LA-Lafayette but this is the most talented football team he’s faced since going to Lafayette. Ole Miss is stacked with talent and have dominated their 1st two opponents defensively…..Ole Miss is ranked 5th in the country defensive by only allowing an avg. of 8 points/game……The only thing the Cajuns will be Ragin’ about at this game is when the concession stand runs out of corndogs!!!!...Shackelford, Prewitt, Nkemdiche, Hilton, Lewis, Golson, Elston and Hilton------------“Control the Roll” at Vaught-Hemingway!!! Rebels win but do not over 42-17!!!



South Alabama Jaguars (13.5pt DOG) @ Mississippi State Bulldogs….

Mississippi State’s pass defense was so bad last week you hardly noticed how bad the place kicking was!!!...(YIKES)....Do you even know the odds for missing one extra point in the game???? It’s less than 1%. State missed two and almost missed three. The odds of missing three would have been in the “Let’s go buy a lottery ticket” range. I bet South Alabama’s radio “play-by-play” announcer could do a better job!!!....lollll…..(Inside joke and shout out to my old UNA teammate J.D. Byars which is now the new radio voice for the Jaguars of South Alabama and “YES”; he was the place kicker for UNA and a damn good one that never missed three PAT in one game!!! JD, congrats on the new gig in Mobile!!!) I think Dan needs to work on his kicking game this week; maybe when his kicker misses another extra point he goes over and “KICKS” him in the ass or better yet, the FootBALLS!!!! State’s secondary struggled last week on the big play and this week isn’t going to be any easier on them. South Alabama is only in its 2nd full year of D1 football but has made great strides quickly. Remember this team had Tennessee beat last year and let them escape in the 4th. A 6-6 effort for your 1st year in Division 1 football is pretty solid. But when you consider 5 of their 6 losses were by less than 3 pts, you start to see how good this team is. Their offense returned 8 starters and all the playmakers…At the end of the day; the Jaguars are going to score on the Bullpuppies secondary!!! The problem for the Jaguars is; Dak Prescott and company are going to score a whole lot more on them!!!....So, puppies, go win one for the CRISTIL!!!(R.I.P. Jack).............Bulldogs win and cover 42-21!!!



Southern Miss Golden Eagles (47pt DOG) @ #3 Alabama Crimson Tide….

This game’s gonna turn ugly quicker than two fat kids staring down at the last piece of chicken on a buffet bar!!!........These “Golden Eagle” will be reduced to “Balding Seagulls” before this game ends!!!! Bama’s Sims, Yeldon and Henry will be lucky to play the whole 1st half. This game is all about the prep before hitting 7 SEC games in a row!!!......................The Tide rolls and covers 49-0!!!



Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks (31pt DOG) @ #10 LSU Tigers….

I read once that the cats were one of the most dangerous animals on the planet. Apparently they don’t just kill for food, they kill for sport too!!!............I think that pretty much summarizes this weekend’s game between the Cats and Birds!!!!!!!! The Fluffy Mass Murderers win and cover 45-13!!!



Kentucky Wildcats (17.5pt DOG) @ Florida Gators….

Well, Kentucky fans the 1st two weeks have been “REAL” and they’ve been “FUN”!!! But, this weekend, it ain’t gonna be “REAL FUN”!!!....You were cordially invited by Coach MustyChimp to attend a 7:30pm Gator feeding at his swamp in Gainesville, FL!!!.....What you didn’t realize was; you the bait!!!......SOooo, “She-IT” fixin’ to get “REAL”!!!...Too much Gator “Defense” creates multiple opportunities for the Gators offense which should result in a highlight reel for QB Jeff Driskel!!!……Gators win and cover 42-14!!!



Tennessee Volunteers (20.5pt DOG) @ #4 Oklahoma Sooners….

Smokey and company are leaving the land of “Big Hills” and heading to the land of “No Hills”. Just like an annoying neighbor’s dog barking in the middle of the night, Smokey’s going to be making some noise late night in Norman, OK!!!…Expect the VOLS to make some noise with QB J. Worley and WR M. North hooking up for some big plays!!!…..Ever heard the expression “Stay on the porch if you can’t run with the big dogs!”……Well, that would be Tennessee’s RB Jalen Hurd!!! (He’s only 6’3 221lb and a FRESHMAN!!!) ………And lastly, Tennessee’s LBs AJ Johnson and Curt Maggitt may have 10% Blue-tick Coonhound blood flowing in their veins but the other 90% is pure Pitbull!!!!! These guys will bite you and light you up!!! As everyone knows Norman, Ok it’s the heart of tornado alley; soooooo, expect another outbreak this Saturday night!!!........Because, “Sooner” or later Oklahoma’s QB Trevor Knight and company(Sterling Shepard, Alex Ross and Keith Ford) will start to blow away their competition!!!........Sooners win and cover 45-21!



Rice Owls (31pt DOG) @ #7 Texas A&M Aggies….

Yo, VIP…..Let's kick it….

Rice, Rice, baby,,,,,Rice, Rice, baby, too slow!!!

All right stop, collaborate, and listen

Rice is back with their brand new invention,…(nope, ole Rice as last year)

Something grabs a hold of me tightly,…(that would be Texas A&M’s DL J. Obioha)

Runs like a Baboon, daily and nightly,…(that would be Texas A&M’s RB T. Williams)

Rice, Rice, baby,,,,,Rice, Rice, baby, too cold!!!

Scoring, 55 to 5.0,…………………(that would be Texas A&M’s QB Kenny Hill)

Throws his helmet down so his hair can blow,

Owl cheerleaders on standby waving just to say hi,

Did Kenny stop? Naw, he just ran by…….

Rice, Rice, baby,,,,,,,Rice, Rice, baby, too slow,,,,,,, too slow!!!

Aggies win and cover 54-20!



End of Week Three