#12 South Carolina Gamecocks (7 pt FAV) @ UCF Knights....

Before the Gamecocks load up and head out of Columbia, Steve Spurrier needs to make sure Jadeveon Clowney has packed his sunscreen----------and his lunch!!!!.....That's because he and the rest of the Gamecock defense will struggle to get off the field for most of the afternoon!!!!....Oh and by the way, since the Knight's offense is going to be using the field for most of the day; Conner Shaw, it would be a great opportunity for you to break out some of your ole freshmen shorts, grease up with some sun tanning lotion and maybe work on that savage tan you been putting off since-------oh, forever!!!

The Cocks will come out slow; but after 3 quarters of being slapped around, the Cocks will begin to rise to the occasion and then score at will in the 4th!!!.........Gamecocks win and do not cover 34-31!!!

South Alabama Jaguars (18.5 pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers....

We're all going to find out what kind of hunting dog ole Smokey is this week!!!!.....A "Blue Tick" hound with a nose for Jaguars!!!!....I figure ole Smokey should have that pesky cat treed by the 1st half. And then; the
shooting begins!!!....Despite losing last week to the Florida Gators, the VOLS did show signs of  improvements and with the return of "Pass Happy" QB Justin Worley, the VOLS should have a big day!!!

VOLS win and cover 48-27!!!

#6 LSU Tigers (3 pt DOG) @ #9 Georgia Bulldogs....

Who dat Cajun be up dare in Colmbee, South Carolinee???? Who tis here be???  Dat be Stevie Spurrier Boo-Shay, dat who dat be!!!.....South Carolina fans will be lining up and signing up for the LSU fan club this weekend!!!...DAT, I gha-rawn-tee!!! ...South Caroliana fans, If Georgia wins this game your dream of representing the East in the SEC Championship game dies with a LSU loss!!!.....If Georgia gets past LSU there is no one to stop them from going to Atlanta (Not even a loss to Florida would keep them out of ATL!)....The Dawgs with Murray and Gurley playing at home between the hedges should make this one a no brainer!!!!....And it is-----LSU hasn't missed a beat on defense after losing 9 to the NFL draft last year and with the addition of RB Jeremy Hill to the mix plus Metterberger's consistency at QB, I don't see Georgia beating them this year!!!.......LSU actually got bored in the 2nd half last weekend playin' Auburn  which allowed Auburn two late scores to make the score look better....This week different story---------LSU will be motivated!!!.....Bayou Bengals win and cover 41-38!!!

#21 Ole Miss Rebels (15 pt DOG) @ #1 Alabama Crimson Tide....

Here are my reasons why Ole Miss should win---#1) Because everything Coach "Gold finger" Freeze touches is turning to gold!!!......#2) QB Bo Wallace is starting to look like 007-------Wallace,,,,,,, Bo Wallace------I like my defenses shaken, not stirred!!!..........#3) RB Jeff Scott is like a super fast Mini-Me that's durable and able to find small cracks to squeeze thru!!!  #4) And receivers Evan Engram, Laquon Treadwell and Donte Moncrief are like a three piece suit that makes 007 Bo looks so good under pressure!!!....... #5)And on the defensive side of the ball Robert Nkemdiche (Dr. No---- "1st downs"), Cody Prewitt (Mr. Big----- "Hit") and Denzel Nkemdiche (Dr. Evil Thunderballs) make up the henchmen for the Rebel defense!!!!

Reasons why Alabama should win----Dick Satan sold his soul to the devil for national football championships!!!........loll.......With that said; Bama does have their own James Bond 007!!!!.....His name is McCarron,,,,,, AJ McCarron!!!....... AJ, The Man with the Golden Gun, is going to do what he does best which is manage the game and not make mistakes and when he has you all softened  up with the run game....BAM.....then he's going to hit you with that big play down the field to open up the lead in the 4th
quarter!!!!..........The only way Ole Miss can win; there must be divine intervention that blocks the "Evil One's" ability to win!!! (AKA Dick Satan!!!)...........Otherwise, the Tide Rolls again Saturday!!!

The Tide wins and does not cover 42-28!!!

#10 Texas A& M Aggies (16 pt FAV) @ Arkansas Razorbacks....

Johnny Football or Johnny Hypnotist???....Wanna know how good Johnny Football is???....Can you even remember the specifics on all the controversy that was surrounding Johnny Manziel at the beginning of the
season????........lolllll......OK, but it took you a second!!!!....That's what happens when you're able to hypnotize millions of people on national TV every week!!!!....Johnny Football is like Will Smith (Agent J) in the movie "Men in Black" using his neuralyzer pen to erase everyone's memory of him signing autographs for money!!!.... (You're getting sleepy now!!!!)....I've been trying to figure out who Johnny Manziel reminds me of in years past......"The Book of Manning" aired on ESPN the other night and it sure had me stop and think-----Archie Manning 6'3" 200 lb scrambling QB that passed for 434 yards and rushed for 104 on national TV against Alabama in a loss but came out the star of the game!!!....and then there's Johnny Football 6'2" 200 lb scrambling QB that passed for 464 yards and rushed for 98 on National TV against Alabama in a loss but came out the star of the game!!!!.....Their ability to escape the rush and make a play is eerie similar but the "On Field" play is where the resemblance stops!!! Controversy isn't even in Archie's vocabulary!!!...Arkansas fan, what happened???? You let the cat out of the bag last week----- (Well, you let
the Scarlet Knights out of the bag!!!)....I'll tell you what happened last week, the Rutgers defense was happening!!! .......The Rutgers defense shut down the Hawgs running game in the second half which eliminated the Razorbacks ability to control the clock to secure the win!!! The good news is you're going to put up enough points on the Aggies's defense that you should win the game! The Bad news is; you don't, because Johnny Football is going to score every time he gets the ball! Aggies win but no not cover 44-31!!!

#20 Florida Gators (13 pt FAV) @ Kentucky Wildcats....

Hey Kentucky fans,,,,,,,, Guess what's coming next month???.........I'll give you a hint----It sounds like "Basket & Ball"!!!!..........That's right!!!!...........It's only 3 more weeks until basketball season starts!!!!

Hopefully the football team used the last two weeks to plan for Florida instead of using that time to watch the basketball team practice!!!....This Wildcat football team is desperate for a win and will be fightin' to the death in this game!!!!......If they lose this game they're probably looking at a 2-10 season this year!!!...This game is huge!!!...QB Maxwell Smith and his struggling "band of brothers" will need to score at least 21 pts to give
themselves a shot at beating the Gators this weekend!!! Plus, the Wildcats defense must play lights out against Florida!!!....On the other side of the field, Florida's starting QB Jeff Driskel is out for the season with a broken leg,,,,,,, but, that might have been the "break" that the Florida offense was looking for......Backup Junior QB Tyler Murphy has been patiently waiting his turn to run the Gator's offense for 3 long years and
now's the time!!!.....He's going to get better each week and will probably have all the rust knocked off by the time he faces Georgia.....I have yet to see a Wildcat kill a Gator in the wild!!!...I suspect a similar result in
this game!!!...Gators win but do not cover 24-14!!!

Arkansas State Red Wolves (21.5 pt DOG) @ Missouri Tigers....

The Red Wolves are definitely going to need some help this week....Maybe a pack of 300 Russian Red Wolves show up this week to play defense!!!....Or  maybe, Russia President Vladimir Putin rides into Jonesboro, ARK on a horse with no shirt to taking over the ground and air attack!!....Not sure that
that would even help this team!!! The fact of the matter is; Arkansas State's head coach, Bryan Harsin, is an outstanding coach and doesn't need Putin calling plays!!!! Putin, ahhh!!! Putin, ahhh!!!...(I love saying the word "Putin"----Sounds like the President of Russia likes to fart a whole lot-----Pootin' ahhh----loll!)

SOooo, why is Arkansas State struggling???------ANSWER: 4 head coaches in 4 years!!! (That's why!!!) These poor players have had to learn 4 new offenses in 4 years!!!!!!.........They probably could coach themselves by now!!!....On the other side of the field, QB James Franklin is healthy, wealthy and wise!!!

So, this game is already in the books!!!!!...........Mizzou Tigers win and
cover 45-23!!!

UAB Blazers (20.5 pt DOG) @ Vanderbilt Commodores....

The Blazers need their "Puff" the Magic Dragon Mascot that lives by the sea to frolic in the Vandy Stadium in the land of Tennessee, if they expect to win this game!!!! Expect the 'Dores Coach James Franklin to pull up to the MCBlazers drive thru window and place his order to go!!!....He's probably going to order a combo meal with QB Austyn Carta-Samuels and WR Jonathan Krause....and then he's going to want to upsize his WR with Jordan Matthews!!!!....and yes, he's going to want to get that hot apple-of-my-eye running back Jerron Seymour to go too!!!....And on the other sideline, expect UAB's head coach Garrick McGee to pull up at the MC'Dores-alds drive thru window and place his order to go!!!......All he wants is a large chocolate shake and fake running back by the name Darrin Reaves!!!!

The 'Dores burnt me last week by not covering the spread!!!.....They should have destroyed the Minutemen of UMass but instead the score was 10 to 7 going into the 4th quarter!!!..... I can't trust them to execute at a high level against a weaker opponent!!!....So, since seeing, is believing; Vandy needs to perform well this week to make me a "Believer" again!!!....Commodores win but do not cover 38-21!!!

SEC Game Schedule Saturday Sept. 28, 2013

         Game           TIME    TV    XM  Sirius

S. Carolina @ UCF    11:00    ABC    91  91
S. Alabama @ Tennessee  11:21    SEC TV    199 112
LSU @ Georgia         2:30    CBS    91  91
Ole Miss @ Alabama    5:30    ESPN    199 112
Texas A&M @ Arkansas    6:00    ESPN2    85  85
Florida @ Kentucky    6:00    ESPNU    200 94
UAB @ Vanderbilt    6:30    FSN    201 135
Arkansas St @ Missouri    6:30    CSS    198 93   

Game Schedule for Saturday 09/21/13

                 Game                Time     TV       XM Sirius
Vanderbilt  @ UMass   12:00 ESPNews 199 92
North Texas @ Georgia 12:21 SECTV   200 93
Arkansas    @ Rutgers  3:30 ESPN    199 92
Tennessee   @ Florida  3:30 CBS     91  91
SMU         @ TexasA&M 7:00 ESPNU   85  85
Colorado St @ Alabama  7:00 ESPN2   200 93
Troy        @ Miss St  7:30 FSN     199 92
Auburn      @ LSU      7:45 ESPN    201 94
Missouri    @ Indiana  8:00 BigTen  192 113

Vanderbilt Commodores (31.5 pt FAV) @ Massachusetts Minutemen....

Just for the record, UMass, your head coach, Charley Molnar, looks like the "Fonz"!!!!...........So, for that, I salute you, and say AAAAAAAY!!!!.....The Minutemen have only won 1 game in their last 18 game  attempts........Well, make that 19 after this Saturd-AAAAAAAAAY!!!.......How bad are they???........Their biggest win in the past 10yrs was beating the Richmond Spiders ........Nicccccccce!!!........  The UMass football program has produced more fans for the New England Patriots than any of Tom Brady's Super Bowl Championships!!!....Vanderbilt's record isn't a great indicator or measurement of this team's talent or tenacity. Both losses to Ole Miss and South Carolina had to be decided late in the 4th quarter.  Expect a big day on both sides of the ball for Vandy......Commodores wins and covers 45-7!!!

North Texas Mean Green (33.5 pt DOG) @ #9 Georgia Bulldogs....

The Dawgs had an open date last weekend which gave them a chance to lick their wounds after two hard fought games to open up the season........They've had two weeks to game plan for North Texas!!!! Do really you think Coach Richt spend two weeks studying game film on how to beat North Texas????

My guess is; the Georgia football team went bowling, played XBOX and watched the LSU game Saturday night!!!...Their season comes down to beating LSU next weekend!!! If they beat LSU they will probably be in ATL playin' Bama for SEC Championship!!!...This week's game is nothing more than a tune-up game for the Dawgs!!!!....I suspect by the 4th quarter the Mean Green will begin to look more like the Mellow Yellow!!!....... Lack of focus and sloppy play won't matter......Dawgs win but do not cover 45-21!!!

Tennessee Volunteers (18.5 pt DOG) @ #19 Florida Gators....

50,000 Tennessee fans were so upset after suffering such a demoralizing defeat at the hands of the Oregon Ducks last weekend that they all called and cancelled their life insurance with Aflac in attempt to get even with a Duck!!!....Florida was off last weekend just sitting in the whirlpool stewing in the mystery of the Miami lost!!!!....Florida's offense must figure out how to quit shooting themselves in the foot and Tennessee's defense needs to learn how to get off blocks and tackle. Both sides should see improvement this weekend but this game comes down to the strengths of both teams-The Gator's defense and the VOL's offense....No question the Gators have a good defense but there are a few questions about the VOL's offense!!!......Gators win but do not cover 34-21!!!

Arkansas Razorbacks (1 pt DOG) @ Rutgers Scarlet Knights....

See Alex Run..............Run Alex Run.............Run Alex Run Run Run Run!!!!

See Jonathan Run..... Run Jonathan Run......Run Jonathan Run Run Run Run!!!!

With last week's injury to Arkansas's QB Brandon Allen expect Coach Bielema's Razorbacks to do more running this week. (If that's possible!!!)........While everyone is making some noise in the SEC, Arkansas is sitting quietly on the back burner steady building themselves a formidable rushing attack. Two names that are quickly rising to the top at Arkansas are RB Alex Collins and RB Jonathan Williams. Alex Collins this week became the first freshman in SEC history and first true freshman in NCAA since Adrian Peterson in 2004 to begin his career with three consecutive 100-yard rushing games.....Plus sophomore RB Jonathan Williams has had three consecutive 100-yard rushing games to start his season too!!!!.....It will be interesting to see if these two can keep up the production as the competition level increases!!!....Well, this week, is the week!!!...Ironically, last week Rutgers starting QB Gary Nova was injured. He apparently suffered a concussion and is doubtful for this week's game....That's great news if you're a Razorback fan; because Nova came into Fayetteville, AR last year and had about a 400 yard passing day with 5 TDs and left with the "W"!!!....Also, ironically, the Scarlet Knights has a junior running back by the name Paul James who has had three consecutive 100-yard rushing games so far this season too!!!.....The Scarlet Knights returned 11 starters on offense, went 9-3 in the regular season last year and are playing at home in New Jersey...See Paul James Run Run Run Run!!!...Scarlet Knights win and cover 27-24!!!

Southern Methodist Mustangs (28.5 pt DOG) @ #10 Texas A&M Aggies....

Not sure what I enjoyed more this week, the images of Johnny Football throwing 5TDs, rushing 98 yards, setting personal passing records & NCAA records or just watching him pull rabbits out of his ass all day!!! I have also enjoyed listening to Bama fans trying to convince me all week that AJ McCarron is a better QB than Johnny Manziel!!!....Hey, I get it....AJ has the wins, the rings but he also has the Bama defense playing on his side!!!....Don't get me wrong!!!!.....I love AJ McCarron (and his hot girlfriend), but he's no Johnny Football!!!.............What's more impressive???? The numbers that Johnny Football hung on Dick Satan's defense or the numbers AJ McCarron hung on the Aggies's "Invisible Man" defense???  By the way, Aggie fans, I think it's time to put that Twelfth man on defense and maybe add a thirteenth and fourteenth??? ...........loll.............Ok, Listen to this, Alabama allowed 42 points in this game, the most the Tide have allowed since Tennessee scored 51 on Oct. 25, 2003 which was a (3OT)game by the way. Texas A&M amassed 628 yards against this Bama's defense-------The most yards allowed by an Alabama defense ------ EVER!!!!!!!..... Alabama got the "W" but I don't think anyone left the stadium thinking Alabama beat Johnny Football..........So, onto this week's game; The Mustang's offense is pretty good. But they aren't good enough to keep up with the scoring pace which is needed to beat this Aggie team! They will score on this Aggie defense,,,, but hell, who isn't going to score on this Aggie defense!!!.......loll Ok, before I give you the score of the game, here's a fun fact that might make you scratch your head; Did you know that Mack Brown at Texas recruited Johnny Manziel to play defense (safety) coming out of high school???.....Yeah, he'll never make it as a quarterback!!!!.......hahaaaaa.........Ole Mack Brown is right on pace for that 2013 Coach of the Year Award..........loll..............Aggies win and cover 56-27!!!

Colorado State Rams (41 pt DOG) #1 Alabama Crimson Tide....

Rammer Jammer finally gets to put down that yellow hammer on the head of "Funny Money" Johnny  Manziel!!!!.............Congrats to AJ and the rest of the Bama offense for scoring 49 points on the worst defense in the SEC!!!  The Aggie defense ranks 108 out 126 major college teams....Tennessee's defense, for crying out loud, which is ranked 73 is better!!!......And Congrats to Dick Satan for shuttin' down Johnny Football-----Well, if you call shuttin' down Johnny Football, holding him to 42 points and only allowing him to break 4 or 5 records; then yes it was a very successful day!!!....That right there folks is what you call a "Back-Handed Compliment"!!!....Feeling good and feeling bad all rolled up into one!!! 

Coach Saban (I mean Satan) won't rest until he has figured how to stop Johnny Football. He only has one more year to do it because Johnny Football will be entering the NFL draft after his junior year next year.

On the other side of the field, I have always loved the Colorado State's logo and color combo...Must go back to my Los Angeles Rams days as a kid!!!......The only things going positive for Colorado State right now is; their school is in Fort Collins, CO, they have nothing to lose (Except for the game  :`) and Bama who is still drunk on Texas A&M victory will be hung-over and sluggish to start the game....Your only shot is to come out fast and score-------You still won't win but you might cover the spread that way!!!!......loll Tide wins but does not cover 45-10!!!

Troy Trojans (14.5 pt DOG) @ Mississippi State Bulldogs....

Tyler Russell,,,,,, To QB or not to QB.........That is the question.........Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind of Dan Mullen to suffer more game loses!!!!.....Dan "The Man's" offense this year was starting to look like Lieutenant Dan's offense..........The offense could not move the ball because they had no legs!!!!......Well, until 2 weeks ago when QB Dak Prescott entered the game with his "magic" legs!!! Since then the Bulldogs
have actually been more balanced offensively and actually present a dual threat!!!.....The Bulldogs no longer have a Vick Ballard 3rd and short first down making machine!!!..... Russell and Perkins cannot convert short yardage 1st downs on power plays... Prescott and Robinson are better suited for this task.....I see no way around Mullen not starting Dak or at least going to a two QB system. If Dan wants to tie his MSU coaching career to the helmet of semi conscience QB Tyler Russell then knock yourself out!!!.....I don't have enough time to talk about bad play calling and wasting timeouts!!!!

So, on to Troy!!!.....Coach Larry Blakeney has been the head coach at Troy since 1991....That's 22 years has the head coach. And by the way, his first and only head coaching position...Needless to say, has really left his mark on the Troy's football program. Literally his name is on the football field.  (Larry Blakeney Field at Veterans Memorial Stadium)....Bulldog fans have to hate this game!!!!......If the Bulldogs beat Troy then everyone says----- "It was Troy!!!"....... And......If the Bulldogs lose to Troy then everyone says---- "It was Troy!!!".....Truly a no win situation for the Bulldogs!!!....And the truth of the matter is; Troy will be difficult to
beat period!!! They probably should have beaten the Bulldogs last year but lost in a close one, 30-24!!!.......The Trojans will have no problem pounding the ball and scoring!!! Butt, they're really going to hurt the Bulldogs when they decide to go deep!!!(I couldn't help myself!)

The only question I have for State is; can they keep pace??? Bulldogs win and do not cover 33-31!!!

Auburn Tigers (17 pt DOG) @ #6 LSU Tigers....

All the LSU players appear to morphing into tiny little Venus Flytraps!!! They are just sitting around with their mouths open wide being still and quiet!!! They're just waiting for a Georgia, Florida, Alabama or Texas A&M to come strolling by on their way to a national championship so they can quickly snatch the victory right out of their hands!!!!.... If LSU QB Zach Mettenberger continues to play at the high level he's playing and the LSU defense continues to mature and get better, this team may more resemble the large Venus Flytrap from the movie "Little Shop of Horrors" before the end of the season..."FEED ME SEYMOUR!!!"(Google it, if you have to ask!).......Despite the fact that we have two undefeated SEC teams playing each other this Saturday, I don't get that warm fuzzy feeling that this game is going to be another Bama/Texas A&M match up!!!.... QB Nick Marshall has been the key factor in Auburn getting out to a 3-0 start plus he is getting better each week..... In fact, last week Miss State's game plan was to stop Auburn from running the ball and make the QB beat them with his arm....Well, he obliged the Bulldogs with a 340 yard passing day, 2TDs and the win!!! His progress will not be able to match the progress I'm seeing in QB Zach Mettenberger....After the first three games of the season LSU's offense is ranked 12th nationally, thanks to Mettenberger!!!!!....That's right, you heard that right folks, LSU's offense is ranked 12th!!!! Not the defense!!!..... Just like the Venus Flytrap from the movie "Little Shop of Horrors" needs blood to drink and grow so will the "Less" Miles's Tigers!!!.....Bayou Bengals win and cover 38-20!!!!

Missouri Tigers (Pick'em) @ Indiana Hoosiers....

The most important thing you need to know about Indiana football is that Lee Corso was the head coach
there for 10yrs and they still haven't recovered!!!!(1972-1982)....Coach Corso is a lot better at hosting
College Game Day then he ever was coaching....He had only 2 winning seasons while coaching at
Indiana!!!!.........Not so good my friend!!!..........This game showcases Big 10 vs. SEC!!!!..........One team averages 50pts a game and the other averages 48pts a game.....There's definitely going to be some scoring in this game!!!.....The Hoosiers have improved a great deal on offense since their Sophomore QB Nate Sudfeld has taken over the QB role full time......And on the other side of the field, Mizzou's success goes
hand-in-hand with senior QB James Franklin's play!!!....Hoosiers playing at home, confidence is flying high after a great start and RB Tevin Coleman looks to be unstoppable!!!.....Hoosiers all the way, right????....Not so fast my friend!!!!-----The Tigers offense will have no problem keeping the pace with Indiana's offense but more importantly the Tigers have improved on the defense and they should be able to make enough plays to make a difference in this game......Tigers win and cover 40-38!!!

Prognostication vs. Science in SEC Football.

Week 3 turns out to be another mind blowing week of SEC scientific supposition, or is it something much much more??  Our giant staff of Jimbo combs through literally every piece of SEC football data available on this planet that’s on www.rivals.com, painstakingly verifying each and every fact/comment to be 100% accurate by making sure it has not shown up on www.Snopes.com!   He then over the next 7 day period ruminates during every waking, football not on TV, moment and uses every last bit of energy he has preparing himself to get through the week so he can carve out say 5 to 10 minutes to write down his SEC Football Picks.  Must I say it??  Yes I must, Jimbo is indeed the John Tesh of prognostication, bringing Intelligence to your Life of SEC Football.

Will Manziel be Bama's Wrecking Ball???

Josh Sanchez over at Fanside may very well have the answer:  http://fansided.com/2013/09/13/johnny-manziel-miley-cyrus-wrecking-ball-gif/

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide (8 pt FAV) @ #6 Texas A& M Aggies....

I bet I know what all you Bama fans are thinking; Man, that Nick Satan is pretty dang smart for having an open date right after the 1st game of the season so he has two weeks to prepare for Johnny Football 

WRONG!!!!......  That might have been the worst thing Bama could have done to prepare....Why???

1) Being in game shape is a whole lot different than being in practice shape.....Just ask Clowney!!!

2) Little Nicky has had all year to prepare for Johnny Football.....He didn't need another week!!!

OOPS---almost forgot the disclaimer:

***This copyrighted name is the property of the Johnny Cash Show.  Any rebroadcast or reproduction without the written consent of Johnny Football or a $7,500.00 cash deposit under the table is strictly prohibited. Please give to the United Johnny College Fund.  A dollar is a terrible thing to waste. ***

3) You can't prepare for him!!! There's no way the Bama scout team can simulate the moves and improvisational decisions of a Johnny Football....................The best "plus" going for Bama right now is;
are you ready for this part???.........You're ALABAMA!!! You have the talent, depth and coaching to beat any opponent......... and another great "plus", the Aggies's defense has looked similar to a screen door trying to stop water so far this year!!!....You're going score,,,,, but so are the Aggies!!!....The game will probably be a shootout on a smaller scale but nonetheless plenty of scoring.....Last year it took 3 ½ quarters for Bama's
to adjust to Johnny Football and that was the difference in the game. This year and this week, the Aggies have several returning defensive starters that were suspended for the first two games plus they're playing on their own home field..........I think this,,,, is the difference,,,, this year!!!! 

Aggies win straight out and shouldn't need the spread 35-33!!!

#7 Louisville Cardinals (13.5 pt FAV) @ Kentucky Wildcats....

The football gods gave Kentucky their "CONFIDENCE" back this weekend by serving them up a feast by the name Miami (Ohio)....They had almost 700 yards total offensive which featured Wildcat QB Maxwell Smith with an impressive 300+ yard passing day!!!......This game is the Super Bowl National State Championship game for all the Kentucky Wildcat fans!!!  Unfortunately the football gods will be stopping by to see them Friday to pick up their "CONFIDENCE" that they let them borrow last weekend!!!...The wildcats hang tough for the 1st half and then Louisville's Heisman hopeful QB Teddy Bridgewater will take over with another 300+passing day performance!!! Charlie Strong's football team will not have a let down by this rivalry game!!! They are simply too well coached and too good for that to happen!!! Cardinals win and cover 35-21!!!

Southern Miss Golden Eagles (21.5 pt DOG) @ Arkansas Razorbacks....

Phonetically, all you "ARE-CAN-SAW" Fans should be happy with a 2-0 start!!!...........But deep down inside; it has to be bothering you that you had to come from behind in the 4th quarter to beat Samford on your own home field!!!!......On the other sideline, Brett Favre University (aka Southern Miss) has produced several winning impressive teams over the years----This ain't one of them!!!....10 turnovers in their first two

games---OUCH!!!....I'm betting they fix that this week and play better---close but no cigar!.....Razorbacks win but do not cover 35-21!!!

Tennessee Volunteers (27.5 pt DOG) @ #2 Oregon Ducks....

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, then it must be Oregon!!!

No Doubt the VOLS look very strong coming out of the gate this year!!!!.....Defensively, the jury is still out but on the offensive side, they are definitely hittin' on all cylinders!!!....The Tennessee offense is
effectively moving the ball on the ground as well as thru the air------------They appear to be a well balanced, well oiled offensive machine.............And, they are averaging almost 50 pts per game!!!! 
WOW!!!!..........Ok, Ok, Ok,,,,, but before you go lettin' ole Smokey dry hump your sister's leg you might want to get the facts on the "Quacks"!!!....Everyone knows about the Quack Attack offense at Oregon!!!! 
But what you really need to know about them is; Oregon has placed a great amount of emphasis on the defensive side of the ball after losing to Cam Newton and company in the 2010 national championship game!!! The Duck's defense is playing S.E.C. good and is ready to "duck up" anyone that gets in
their way of winning a National Championship!!!!......... Ducks win and cover 49-21!!!

Mississippi State Bulldogs (7 pt DOG) @ Auburn Tigers....

MSU is recognized as an outstanding engineering school year after year.....This year is no exception; Mississippi State's student chapter of the American Society of Mechanical Engineers was called upon by the football team's medical staff in an effort to get QB Tyler Russell back on the field in time for the Auburn game. A team of 20 engineers gathered and worked feverishly over the past 10 days to come up with a new football helmet design that would help protect Tyler Russell from another concussion injury....and on the 10th day!!!! ------------Walla!!!!.........SUCCESS!!!....QB Tyler Russell will be sporting the new space-age, high- tech helmet design this Saturday...........It basically looks just like a regular helmet, but with one small difference; his helmet will have bubble wrap on it!!! (Not just one layer, but twoooo layers of bubble

wrap!!!)......Nicccccccce!!!.......lollllll......too soon????........Russell and Perkins will be back in the lineup on Saturday but unfortunately so will OC Les Koenning!!!!......If Les doesn't make personnel changes for third & short or they get into the red zone; Well then, the results will be as week one!!!.....Auburn on the other hand has the following going for them: Gus Malzahn, home game, 2-0 start, confidence and 35 pts per game scoring avg!!!  And BTW, the Washington State victory from week one may prove to be a bigger win for Auburn than anyone had previously thought since Washington State took Southern California to their own wood shed last weekend......My heart wants to pick the Bulldogs in an upset but my instincts tell me different....Tigers win but do not cover 24-21!!!

Kent State Golden Flashes (36.5 pt DOG) @ #8 LSU Tigers....

The only "Golden Flashes" we're going see in this game are the ones coming from the LSU student section........."Don't look Kent State...............It  was too late...........They've already been mooned!!!!

Flashed them right there in front of the first down marker!!!

LSU ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy

LSU ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy

LSU is just in the mood to run in the nude.................etc. etc. etc."......Thank you Ray Stevens and childhood memory!!! .... (BTW---My young friends; you may need to Google him to get this one!!!.....loll)

Tiger QB Zach Mettenberger has looked outstanding in his first two games of the season. He has NFL Pro-Style QB written all over him but he's been very streaky in the past...If he can continue to be consistent this year then Alabama's job just got harder!!!!......Kent State presents no real threat to LSU. So, it's business as usually for "Less" Miles and the Tigers!!!!.............Tigers win and cover 55-14!!!

Vanderbilt Commodores (12 pt DOG) @ #13 South Carolina Gamecocks....

There once was a Clowney playing in Vandy

Whose "Bull Rush" was so nasty it was dandy,

And he said with a grin

As he buckled up his chin,

If the helmet comes off, it's like candy!!!

Here are the Keys to the game:

***The Commodores passing game has the edge on the South Carolina's secondary. Vandy will definitely attempt to move the ball thru the air in an effort to set up their running attack......But Clowney and company should be able to disrupt the connect between QB Carta-Samuels and his favorite target, WR Jordon Matthews, enough to have an impact on Vandy's play calling in the booth!!!

***The Gamecocks on the other hand, have a huge advantage in the running game, and I'm not just talking about Mike Davis!!! I'm talking about Conner Shaw....The Gamecocks must lean on Shaw's ability to pull the ball down and make yards out of a broken pass play. Vandy's secondary is very experienced. Thus, the coverage will be tight and the passing lanes narrow for Shaw to connect. If Shaw tries to force his completions he's going to have a career night in INTs and put his team at a huge disadvanage to win!!!

coaching (Edge goes to Vandy), Home Field (Edge goes to Carolina) and the Kicking game is about even!!!......Gamecocks win but do not cover 35-27!!!

#25 Ole Miss Rebels (2.5 pt DOG) @ Texas Longhorns....

What is 26 minus 15???? Just 26......and that would be the Longhorns newest AP ranking after losing to BYU last weekend!!!......The Longhorns fell from grace by going from #15 to #26 in the latest AP ranking----or as I like to say, they are now ranked #25.999999!!!(I'm all about being more positive........and sarcastic!!!) Texas got their butt ran over by a big ole Church bus from Utah!!!! When that big ole Mormon Church bus finally came to a complete stop it had traveled over 679 yards in total offense with 550 of those yards coming in the form of rushing yards!!! ...Longhorns "Beware"!!!!...or in this case "Bo-wear"!!!...Bo Wallace and The Church of Colonel Reb of "Lateral-Play" Saints is travel in a red, white and blue bus full of hungry black bears!!!.........Big Bo Wallace has but "ONE" message to send to the Texas Longhorns--------and that is------"I mess with Texas! "............Unfortunately Big Bo's message never makes it to the Longhorn's locker room...Apparently, he tried to mail it to Manny Diaz's office and it came back "return to sender"........Over the past decade, Texas has enjoyed a home winning record close to 80%!!! Longhorns win and cover 34-31!!!



Saturday, September 14th - All Time Central

  Game                                       Time           TV             XM   Sirius
Louisville         @ Kentucky     11:00 PM   ESPN         199      98
Southern Miss @ Arkansas     11:21 PM   SEC TV     201     113
Tennessee       @ Oregon           2:30 PM   ABC             85      85
Alabama          @ Texas A&M   2:30 PM   CBS             91      91
Miss. State      @ Auburn           6:00 PM   ESPN2       201     113
Vanderbilt        @ S.Carolina      6:00 PM   ESPN           91      91
Kent State       @ LSU                6:00 PM   ESPNU       192      92
Ole Miss         @ Texas              7:00 PM   Longhorn    202    117

SEC Games this Week

Florida at Miami (ESPN - 12 p.m. ET)Miami (Ohio) at Kentucky (FSN – 12 p.m. ET)
Western Kentucky at Tennessee (SEC Net – 12:21 p.m. ET)
Toledo at Missouri (ESPNU – 3:30 p.m. ET)
Alcorn State at Miss. State (CSS – 3:30 p.m. ET)
South Carolina at Georgia (ESPN – 4:30 p.m. ET)
Samford at Arkansas [Little Rock] (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
UAB at LSU (ESPNU – 7 p.m. ET)
SE Missouri at Ole Miss (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
Sam Houston State at Texas A&M (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
Arkansas State at Auburn (FSN – 7:30 p.m. ET)
Austin Peay at Vanderbilt (CSS – 7:30 p.m. ET)

Miami (OH) RedHawks (-16.5 pt Dog) @ Kentucky Wildcats.....

Hey Kentucky Football Fans,,,,,,,,After last week you have a lot to be excited about this year; #1 There's only 40 more days until basketball season starts... and # 2 There's only 40 more days until basketball season
starts!....lolll.........The Wildcats will struggled this season but they won't in this game. Despite losing to Western Kentucky they were able to score and move the ball. The RedHawks on the other hand struggled against Marshall last week just to make 1st downs!!! Wildcats win and cover 35-17!!!

#12 Florida Gators (+3 pt FAV) @ Miami (FL) Hurricanes....

The Miami Hurricanes looked like the Hurricanes of old last week; But before all you Miami football fanatics start breaking out your loud jackets from the 80's you might want to stop and read this next part......Miami had over 500 yards last week with 300 of it coming from rushing against a weak FAU defense....That 300 rushing ain't goin' be happening this week against this Gators defense!!! Florida on the other hand doesn't have the offensive explosiveness to blow out Miami therefore this game will be closer than it should plus it's being played at Miami at noon.......Gators win and cover 24-20!!!

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (-13.5 pt DOG) @ Tennessee Volunteers....

The problem with hill climbers is; they aren't use to climbing mountains!!! When the Hilltoppers start their ascent and try to top "Ole Rocky Top"; they will discover it's a lot steeper climb than they thought. The VOLS's defense will get scored on this week but they have plenty of fire power on offense to offset any of Western Kentucky's scoring.....VOLS win and cover 42-28!!!

Toledo Rockets (-16.5 pt DOG) @ Missouri Tigers....

The Toledo "Rockets" looked more like the Toledo "Suppositories" last week in their game against Florida. Their tight ends just couldn't get the penetration needed to make a go of it. Plus, Florida's slippery little
running back, Mack Brown, kept finding cracks in the Toledo defense to slip thru..... :)......Missouri on the other hand looked like a NFL team playing against Murray State....This week's game should paint a more realistic picture of both teams....Mizzou's senior QB James Franklin is definitely experienced and will light up a scoreboard but the Rockets senior QB Terrance Owens isn't too bad either....I'll give the edge to the home team and the SEC team.....Mizzou wins and covers 41-24!!!

Alcorn State Braves (-44.5 pt DOG) @ Mississippi State Bulldogs....

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." This is quickly starting to be a pattern for Miss State's play calling!!!..... Mississippi State's offensive coordinator,
Les Koenning, is like the drunken out of control alcoholic son that keeps asking for more offensive plays from his dad, Dan Mullen!!!!.......and of course, Dan Mullen is like the over protective parent that unknowingly continues to enable his son's bad play calling!!!!......lolll......They both need an intervention!!! Will someone please take the keys to the offense away from Les Koenning before he crashes the whole team????.......Also, to add insult to injury, watching "The Dan Mullen Show" this week was like watching a drunk driver on "COPS" try to explain to the police officer why he was driving 25 MPH over the speed limit and why he was driving naked with a blowup doll in the passenger seat!!! The Bulldogs should start to feel
better about themselves after detoxing with Alcorn State this weekend! Bulldogs win and do not cover 50-7!!!

#6 South Carolina Gamecocks (-3.5 pt DOG) @ #11 Georgia Bulldogs.....

Ford Motor Company is in the process of building a new Super SUV.......... It's called the Clowney Navigator Saline I.V. ......Engineers say this SUV will be the biggest, fastest  and most powerful SUV ever built....They hope to get it released in 2015 but first must solve a fuel problem....Apparently, The SUV keeps running out of gas every quarter-----mile!!!!....loll...... Hopefully Jadeveon Clowney won't have any conditioning issues this weekend with expected temps in the 80's in the 1st half and 70's in the second half!!!....Expect Jadeveon "The Hit Man" Clowney to show up in Athens!!!.....Don't expect the same ass-kicking that South Carolina handed out last year....Despite losing to Clemson, the Dawgs performance and tenacity were inspiring....Murray still had over 300 yards passing and Gurley definitely looked the part with over a 150 yard day on 12 carries and 2 TDs.....This game is going down to the last second and I have
to give the edge to the home team....Dawgs win but do not cover 31-28!!!

Samford Bulldogs (-32 pt DOG) @ Arkansas Razorbacks....

Razorback's head coach Bret Bielema wasted little time pumping sunshine and confidence back into the program. ....Let us not forget this team has talent and the athletes!!!.....They were preseason ranked in the top 10 before the bottom fell out last year..... Beatin' La-Lafayette was a quality win for the Hawgs. As far as this week goes, Arkansas will cruise against this week as they play Flying Nuns of Sister Samford School of the Blind Tech State!!!.....Samford struggled to put away Georgia State last week and Georgia State has only been playing football for 3yrs (not just started playin' major college football,,,, literally, just started playing football!!!) The Razorbacks enjoyed much success last weekend running the ball against the Ragin' Cajuns of Lafayette...... Expect that, plus a huge day passing against this weak Bulldog  secondary.....Razorbacks win and cover 45-10!!!

UAB Blazers (-34.5pt DOG) @ #9 LSU Tigers....

This week on "Swamp People"........ Alligator season in Louisiana begins on the first Wednesday in September....With that being said, did you know that UAB is coming to town with their fire-breathing European dragon mascot named, Blaze????..... Pretty sure Les Miles does and he probably told his
players that a dragon ain't nuthin' but a fancy alligator with hot breath!!!!....Expect to see a lot of alligator tags being issued Saturday night in Death Valley!!!........LSU actually looked more balanced on offense
last week than they have in three years.....Defensively they looked like a typical LSU defense!!! The Blazers, on the other hand, looked weak on defense last week but looked decent in the passing game. Different week, different opponent, different result.... Bayou Bengals win and cover 49-13!!!

Southeast Missouri State Redhawks (-52.5 pt DOG) @ Ole Miss Rebels....

Ole Miss had so many freshmen playing week it seem like a nursery on field. At one time I thought I heard the student section chanting a new version of Hotty Toddy........"Are you ready????.......Hell yes!!!....How many Toddys,,,, gots to learn to Potty??? .......Gosh Almighty, I don't
know!!!......Who the hell are they???......Poopie smell, Laquon Treadwell,
Nkemdiche and his stinky britchee.....Ole Miss will, try to Teach-YA!!!"........lollllll......The Vandy-Ole Miss game last week was definitely one of the best games on TV last week!!! Awesome game!!! It was a
shame that someone had to lose.......This week's game won't be nearly as exciting but, none-the-less, it will still be a very interesting to watch how quickly these elite freshmen grow up week to week!!! Ole Miss fans; you need to enjoy this week because your schedule over the next 5 weeks---TEXAS, Roll Tide, War Eagle, The Johnny Manziel Show and the Geaux Tigers..............................OUCH!!!

Ole Miss wins and does not cover 58-7!!!

Sam Houston State Bearkats (-38.5 pt DOG) @ #7 Texas A& M Aggies....

Just noticed Texas A&M's initials are aTm.......Johnny Football now has full access to the ATM machine at College Station......Nicccccccccccce!!!.....I wonder if there's a limit per transaction of $7500.00.

So, where have all the Tebow haters gone???? Well, it looks like they have found a new home in College Station!!!!....... Johnny Football looks to be the next target to hatin'!!!....Haters just got to hate!!!....lollllll......I love the fact that Johnny Manziel walks around with a chip on his shoulder and plays with a lot of emotion and fire!!!....I think that's who he is and what makes him so special (Well, that,,,,, and
the fact that he runs like a spooked white tail deer in the open field!!!)......The Bearkats from Sam Houston State won their game last weekend 74-0!!!....Let's just say the Bearkats know how to score!!! Aggies
win but will not cover 55-28!!!

Arkansas State Red Wolves (-11.5 pt DOG) @ Auburn Tigers....

Fun fact---Arkansas State's last three head coaches only coached for one season??? Why??? Because they were so good!!! The SEC gobbled them up just as fast as you could say "winning season"!!!

2011-Hugh Freeze went to Ole Miss...2012-Gus Malzahn went to Auburn......and 2013- Current head coach Bryan Harsin will be leaving soon too-----Yes, he's that good!!! (Remember Boise State?) The Red Wolfe of Arkansas State could very well pull the upset in Auburn....and I wanted to call it but I just
don't have the guts to do it!!!!...The Tigers escape with the win but will not cover 31-30!!!

Austin Peay Governors (-47.5 pt DOG) @ Vanderbilt Commodores....

Vanderbilt's WR Jordan Matthews returning to the game after receiving fluids intravenously----Nice!

Vanderbilt's WR Jordan Matthews hangin' on to the ball after a thunderous hit to the ribs--- Priceless!

Vanderbilt's WR Jordan Matthews throwing up on national TV----twice.....AWESOME!!!

The Commodores will be eager to get into the win column this week............Coach Franklin will want to have an impressive victory over the Governors of Austin Peay in order to erase last week's loss in the
memory of his players!!!....Especially senior WR Jordan Matthews!!!!!.......Expect to see Vandy come out "Fast and Furious"!!!!.....Vandy will be going for the shut out!!!....Commodores win and cover 49-0!!!

Alabama's Kenny Bell is gone... No he's back!

The Crimson Tide's wide receiver Kenny Bell announced on twitter Tuesday "it's been a nice run but I'm hanging up my cleats."  But later that day Coach Saban said "Sometimes we have personal things that we need to get ironed out, He had a day today to do that."  So Kenny is back on the team.  Coach Saban reported that he had spoke to Kenny's mother and it seems that all personal situations have been worked out! 

Kenny Bell is a 5th year senior, 6'1" / 180 lbs wide receiver from Rayville, La. He had 17 receptions for 431 yards and 3 touchdowns topping the team yards per catch with an average of 25.4yds per reception  last year. 

SEC Games This Week.

There is no Thursday night SEC Game this week.  But the SEC fun will resume on Saturday 09/07/13 :

Florida at  Miami (ESPN - 12 p.m. ET)
Miami (Ohio) at Kentucky (FSN – 12 p.m. ET)
Western Kentucky at Tennessee (SEC Net – 12:21 p.m. ET)
Toledo at Missouri (ESPNU – 3:30 p.m. ET)
Alcorn State at Miss. State (CSS – 3:30 p.m. ET)
South Carolina at Georgia (ESPN – 4:30 p.m. ET)
Samford at Arkansas [Little Rock] (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
UAB at LSU (ESPNU – 7 p.m. ET)
SE Missouri at Ole Miss (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
Sam Houston State at Texas A&M (PPV – 7 p.m. ET)
Arkansas State at Auburn (FSN – 7:30 p.m. ET)
Austin Peay at Vanderbilt  (CSS – 7:30 p.m. ET)

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